Well shooot. Like many people in 2020 I had to cancel all my scheduled plans for the year. Apart from not being able to visit New York City for the first time… I had to cancel my Lightening in a Bottle trip plus a show at Red Rocks. Now boohoo for me.

I’m not here to complain about how I wasn’t able to do these things, but rather talk about the hindsight of it all. (and for people who had/having a difficult time during the Covid-19 pandemic, I hope this message is helpful)

Making and setting plans is the best. Not to say spontaneous “in the flow” events are any the less. But when you have something on the calendar, it’s a thing to look forward to. May it be a weekend hike or outing that helps you through the week, or a spring concert that serves as a light at the end of the winter season tunnel. Or as simple as a hangout with a bud after work or school. No matter what it is creating a future to be excited about makes the present more exciting.

What’s important here is knowing what we want and setting up ourselves for this desired outcome/future. I’ve talked about the default and how it is important to make conscious decisions in your life. By going through life we create relationships. This can be with people, jobs, work, our living situation, things, and really anything. See a relationship is between the people, places, and things involved, but that is just the surface. The true teller of a relationship is the emotional transaction.

I’m no expert on emotions and how they work. What I do know is that emotions can be difficult to process in the moment. I have personally gotten tunnel vision within my relationships in the past and lost contact to who I am. By being constantly surrounded by media, family, friends, teachers, and just noise we can forget who we are. When there are so many outside voices telling you what to do, think, and be it becomes hard to decipher our voice from the others.

So how can we mute the noise and get to a point where we “know thy self”. This comes in three parts.

First

Mindfulness. The ability to be non judgmental or reactive to thoughts, emotions, and events. On one side you can be like a stone. This being that nothing can penetrate or effect you. You are stable as can be, but the negative aspect is that you loose connection with emotions. While the other side is like being a balloon. Where the slightest breeze puts you off balance and if not in a safe place you will pop and explode.

I speak to these extremes to make the point for balance. Emotions are the essence of life, without feeling life starts to get grey. The flip side though is being caught in emotions like a pin ball machine; getting bounced around on a roller coaster of emotions never finding your center.

Without mindfulness one can take on emotions projected by others. In social circles without mindfulness or logical reasoning there can be a ping pong of feelings through the group. The ability to breathe and witness rather than being a victim to the world is essential in order to have an inner-standing of who you are.

Second

Spend time with yourself. To some this is a nightmare. I know someone that keeps the tv on just for background noise if alone in the house.

When we don’t process our thoughts and emotions they begin to build up. Like the movie Smallfoot (2018) if we suppress and push our emotions down inside of us there will be a time when those emotions must come up again.

The urge to distract ourselves with anything other than silence may be difficult, but in order to achieve inner peace and know thy self: alone time is required.

Now I understand that this can be a daunting task, for my beginnings in meditation and personal growth was very difficult. It was very overwhelming to go from avoidance to accountability but very worth it.

Luckily there is many apps and books that can help you along the way. Some being:

  • Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (Book)
  • Waking Up (App)
  • Head Space (App)
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza (Book)
  • You Can Heal Your Heart by David Kessler and Louise Hay (Book)

Third

Life experience. Being a twenty something year old has taught me how time and life chapters are essential to personal growth.

When you’re young everything feels like forever. Everything is so monumental and dramatic. It wasn’t until I gained perspective by having a mixture of experiences. In addition by meeting new and different people it helped me understand more than just my perspective and the one shared with my community.

A consistent practice of mindfulness throughout your days and spending time alone reflecting and meditating; will direct you towards knowing thy self.

Once you start on the path of self development all that is needed is consistency. To have self-compassion and be gentle with yourself helps speed up the process even though it can be counter intuitive in the moment. Allow yourself to grow with failures being lessons and accomplishments being motivators.

Now looking into the mirror and doing personal development may be hard for you, but I know from experience that it is worth it.

Once you start to get this deeper connection within yourself there’s an opening of new experiences. You start to be able to create the life that you want with conscious choices. You understand why things happen the way they do and direct yourself towards what you truly desire. You may have a stronger connection with your emotions and feeling, which may be “scary” at first but with practice it becomes a gift. You start to see things such as the level of authenticity of a person. All of this and more.

This is great and all, but what I have learned from experience is that the people you surround yourself with is what is most important. For the festival goers know this best. The squad is equally important to the artists at the venue. For life is meant to be shared with people. There is time for seclusion and self discovery in that space, but then what. Will you just be a perfect little buddha all on to your own.

At times it’s difficult to be with family and sometimes your friends. We all have baggage, but at the end of the day being with who you love is all there is. So hey, call that friend of yours or special someone and create some plans with them. Make something you can both or all look forward to. Accept people as they are and please don’t try and change people. If you find yourself frustrated with others; best look within yourself before projecting and blaming others.

If you’re not happy with who or where you are at in life, then save some time and take accountability. This is a lesson I am continuously learning.

So with that I leave you with this:

“If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make a change.”

Michael Jackson

So much love yo. Peace.